Drop what you’re doing, find a quiet place to sit down, and make yourself comfortable. You have just stumbled across the unveiling of QuiBids’ highly anticipated and potentially controversial Mystery Auctions. Our new ‘non-traditional’ vendor has supplied QuiBids with some of the most unique products that are sure to catch your eye. Without further ado, here’s the line-up of new and controversial auctions on QuiBids. We have a limited supply of each auction, so be sure to jump in on the auction soon!
A picnic lunch with Optimus Prime
Always dreamed of spending some quality time on a nice spring day with the leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime? This is your chance! Bid now and you are entitled to a picnic lunch with Optimus Prime. Don’t have a ride? No problem! Optimus Prime can transform into a freightliner to take you to the perfect picnic location. Worried about crime in your city? No problem! Optimus Prime is dedicated to the protection of all life, particularly the inhabitants of Earth. Take a chance on spending some quality time with Optimus Prime on a lovely spring picnic-just be sure to pack enough food for the big guy!
Aladdin Guided Magic Carpet Ride
When did you last let your heart decide to explore a new, fantastic point of view? Do you find yourself constantly dreaming about shining, shimmering splendor? Of a dazzling place you never knew?
QuiBids will be auctioning off an Oklahoma Storm Bundle complete with rain, hail, thunder, lightning and more! Don’t be fooled by your local fluff storms; Oklahoma storms mean business.
Clone Yourself Kit
You’re so perfect, right? … And you know everyone else thinks you are, too. In fact, I’m sure millions of people have told themselves “the world would be so much better if there were TWO of me!” Well, it’s your lucky day. Here is your chance to get all you need to clone yourself! This kit includes everything you could possibly need: Scientist Andrew French, a few embryos (from yourself, of course), and a couple of other items that you’ll have to see for yourself. Aren’t you tired of always wishing you could be in two places at once? Wait, no…how about the laundry and dishes piling up? Or maybe you’re just yearning to have that twin your parents never gave you. Either way, bid now before someone snatches this kit up and creates the world’s most famous Qui-clone who can do it all! Cook, clean, do laundry, or just sit there to listen to you talk about how great you are. Warning: Changes in genomes may not only result in changes in appearance, but in psychological and personality changes as well. Society may like your clone more than they like you.
Do you think rainbows are beautiful? Well it’s your lucky day! QuiBids is auctioning off a double rainbow for the price of one. Experience the intensity of a double rainbow just like that mountain man from Yosemite. Double the colors, double the arch, maybe even double the pot of gold at the end!
Instead of putting a quality product up for auction, why don’t we put the worst car in America up for auction? Only on QuiBids can you have this much fun while shopping for a Yugo. But we’re not putting just any old Yugo up for auction. We auctioning the exact replica of QuiBidder Giuseppe’s Old Yugo.
Harry Potter Invisibility cloak
The invisibility cloak is perfect for any occasion that you’re not supposed to attend. Whether you’re sneaking your friends out of detention, or running a marathon that you forgot to register for, you will be sporting a style that your buddies only wish they could see.
Hoverboard from Back to the Future
Skateboarding is a thing of the past with this Hoverboard from Back to the Future! Say goodbye to inline skates and Segways! Glide just a few inches above the ground, and catch some sick air! Anything that hovers has a distinct advantage to transportation with wheels, due to the patented Anti-Friction Technology upon which the hoverboard is built. You probably won’t be transported to the future, but if you are, make sure not to do ANYTHING THAT WOULD ALTER THE FUTURE!!!! Try to avoid interacting with your future self, it could have catastrophic consequences!
iCut pass – Allows you to skip to front of the line at the next big apple product launch
This nifty iCut pass affords you a line cut ahead of the creative masses during the next visit to your neighborhood Apple Store. Because everybody knows the worst part about the Apple Store is the rabid crowds of yuppies that flood it.
Inherent Joy of Bidding
What’s wrong with spending bids just because it’s inherently, objectively fun to participate in an auction? Yeah, prizes are good we suppose, but they’re nothing compared to the thrill of actually getting to click that beautiful, blue “BID” button, over and over and over and over…
Jersey Shore Hair Gel
Hey Bro, after you finsh your GTL session you don’t want to ruin your fresh look with some second rate hair gel! Nah, I mean why even tan then bro!? If you want to be fresh to death when you hit tha clubs, bid on your own Jersey Shore Hair Gel. Yeaaahhh Buddy!!
*Disclaimer: Applying Jersey Shore Hair Gel will not give you six pack abs. However, bursts of involuntary fist pumping have been known to occur.
Mani/Pedis with Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin is a true Renaissance man, and as such an enlightened man he realizes that occasionally a little spa pampering is just what the doctor ordered. Enjoy this chance to sit with one of the founding fathers of our country and discuss everything from physics to Kim Kardashian. We are sure you will be impressed with his lightning wit and impressive list of friends and acquaintances such as Thomas Jefferson and Jimi Hendrix.
Mockingjay from the Hunger Games
Wish you could’ve grown up in District 12? Got a soft spot for Katniss Everdeen? Does hearing Suzanne Collins’ name spoken aloud force you to cross your heart and hope to die?
If so, you might just offer yourself as tribute to participate in this auction because the winner gets their very own Mockingjay. That’s right, the Hunger Games’ very own unique hybrid bird and symbol of hope and rebellion against the oppressive nation of Panem!
Trip for Two to Newt Gingrich’s Moon Base
You’ve probably heard presidential hopeful, Newt Gingrich’s, promise to build a moon base by the end of his secon term. It didn’t take long for QuiBids to jump on the opportunity to put some tickets to Newt’s moon base up for auction.
Nicki Minaj Makeup Set
Want to paint your complexion all pastel but don’t know what products could potentially cause irreparable chemical damage to your face?
Piano lessons from Mozart
If you want to be successfull, start at the top. Learn from the best. With chess, study Bobby Fischer. For basketball, Jordan. And in the study of music composition, there is one name that stands above all.
Win this auction and take lessons from a great!
Rotten Meat Dress – Formerly Worn by Lady GaGa
Remember the MTV Video Music Awards back in 2010? Who doesn’t? Well lucky for you, a couple of days after it was worn, we decided to snag this Lady Ga Ga Meat Dress up. It has been frozen, keeping it in nearly perfect condition from the night Gaga wore it herself. Despite having a couple of days to rot in the heat, we believe that the frozen meat dress will be just as great as it was on that magical night way back in 2010.
Super Power (You Choose It)
Some superheroes get the awesome end of the stick while others get the shaft. Spider-man climbs buildings and shoots webs, Superman zips around the air above Metropolis, and Aquaman shoots through the ocean like a dolphin. All the while Zan from the Wonder Twins is capable of turning into a bucket of water at will. It’s just unfair.
QuiBids is evening the playing field for you though with this special You Choose It. You get to pick your very own superpower! Seeing through walls, shooting lava out your hands, turning into a gorilla at will — the choice is yours!
Time Travel to Past or Future
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told us that if we didn’t offer this auction that he would melt our brains, so we are now offering you our most coveted auction…time travel! We send you anywhere in history, past or present, by getting our specially modified DeLorean up to 88 mph with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity.
Trip To Jurassic Park
Whether you are on the top of your field, or you are into chaos theory, this trip will have you on the edge of your seat! You will be taking a trip to the tropical location of Jurassic Park. There you will go on a tour of the park. Remember, all of the dinosaurs are completely contained… Unless they’ve figured out how to open doors…
Victoria’s Actual Secret
Wonder what Victoria has been hiding all these years? Well now you can find out! The winner of this auction will learn what Victoria’s Secret really is. Is it a nose job? Hair coloring? A secret lover? We don’t know-but you will! Victoria will land her pink striped and gold helicopter in an undisclosed to the public location and let you in on her secret. Want to sell the secret to tabloids after you get it and make millions, be our guest! Or you can always choose to keep it to yourself and write a book about it in 20 years. The opportunities are endless when you win this auction and find out Victoria’s actual secret!
The Entire State of West Virginia
What do you think a territory this rich in hunting, outdoor exploration, logging, and coal mining’s worth? Of course we’ll toss in a few extra Gameplays and Voucher Bids to sweeten the deal, so we’re expecting a fracas of an auction here.
Your Head on Mount Rushmore
Be the envy of all your friends when your head is strategically placed on Mount Rushmore. Watch your friends ooh and ahh over how lucky you are to have your head displayed among the greatest. Have your head become a colossal statue today!
Win this Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit on QuiBids and your chances of surviving an end-times zombie apocalypse are greatly improved! This survival kit includes chainsaws, twinkies, road flares, a toolkit, Woody Harrelson’s banjo, a gator skin jacket, a cowboy hat, case full of guns, ninja sword, a winnebago, and much more!
A Voice Like Adele
“Rumor Has It” that “Someone Like You,” yes you, could win this remarkable ability for yourself! With Adele’s Voice, you’ll be a “One and Only” talent, hobnobbing with celebrities and glitzing along on the rock star treatment. Nobody’s gonna give you the “Cold Shoulder.” Your voice will “Melt My Heart To Stone,” make people feel “Right As Rain,” not “Tired.” You’ll give your “Hometown Glory,” “Set Fire to the Rain,” and “Take It All” for yourself. (Are there any Adele songs we’re missing here? Don’t answer that.)